Author: P.I.S.O.R.

Sexual Armor. Patent number: 875845 Issue date: Jan. 7, 1908

“It is a deplorable but well known fact that one of ‘the most common causes of insanity, imbecility and feeble mindedness, especially in youth,is due to masturbation or self abuse. This is about equally true of both sexes.”

“Physicians, and more particularly physicians, nurses and attendants associated with insane asylums, have long found this habit the most difficult of all bad practices to eradicate, because of the incessant attention required of them in respect to the-subjects in their care. In fact it has been found practically impossible to give to any such unfortunate person that constant personal attention which is, under heretofore tried methods of treatment, necessary. to accomplish the redemption of such persons from such habits. Therefore, with persons who have carried on such disastrous practices until serious ailments of the mind have resulted, there has been but little hope of cure. These are all facts but too well known by persons whose professions have made them familiar with this subject.”

Swimming Paddle. Patent number: 373692 Issue date: Nov 1887

Very little additional floating power will in the sea preserve the body from entire submergence. Life-preservers, if properly applied, are valuable safeguards; but in many instances under the excitement of leaving a sinking or burning vessel the preserver is applied too low down upon the body, and the result is that upon a person throwing himself into the water the lower limbs are lifted into the air and the head is submerged, thus making a case of involuntary suicide; but with a pair of paddles in the hands and attention given to the use of the same the case is different, as the person will then rely upon his or her own efforts to remain afloat until rescue can be made. The necessary exertion to sustain the body diverts go the mind from much of the horror of the situation, and is thus a boon to the user.

Sewing Machine Treadle. Patent number: 214266 Issue date: Apr 15, 1879

“For the past twenty-five years we have been investigating the physical and mental laws of health-culture and life forces, the causes of diseased humanity, and the remedies, and for the past ten years have been careful observers of the many evils resulting from operating on sewing-machines. In that time we have noted between four and five hundred cases. Many of those cases referred to have become permanently diseased, and surfer untold tortures. Others have died without knowing or even conceiving the cause of their troubles. We have seen some cases where the operator became partially insane, and others wholly so. Some are fretful, cross, self-willed, and stubborn—others guilty of such extreme recklessness as to prove insanity. We do not find one case where the health of the operator remains good, and where the functions of the body are undisturbed after operating a short time on any sewing machine. Six mouths generally develop alarming symptoms.”

Bright light mask. Patent number: 4858609 Issue date: Aug 22, 1989

A bright light mask for shining a high intensity light into a subject’s eyes to modify biological rhythms, the bright light mask comprising: a mask adapted to be worn by the subject for covering the subject’s eyes regardless of body position, the mask having at least one light admitting aperture that is substantially transparent to visible light energy; a bright light source coupled to the mask for generating light having an intensity of at least 2000 LUX within the wavelength range of 500 to 600 nanometers; delivery means suitable for delivering the bright light from the light source to the subject’s eyes, wherein the delivery means delivers cool light to the subject’s eyes; control means for regulating the delivery of light to the subject’s eyes, the control means including timer means for turning the light source on and off at variable preselected times; and dimmer means for varying the intensity of the light delivered to the subject’s eyes, wherein said dimmer means is arranged such that each time the timer means turns the light source on, the dimmer means gradually increases the intensity of the light delivered to the subject’s eyes.

Device for scattering a multitude of objects and method of making same. Patent number: 5338242 Issue date: Aug 16, 1994

“Upon social occasions, such as weddings or birthdays, or for purely amusement purposes, such as at carnivals, it is known to scatter confetti into the air, over floors and tables, and over people, particularly the participants of the occasion being celebrated.”

Pyrotechnic (Yule Log). Patent number: 1645206 Issue date: Oct. 11, 1927

This invention relates to pyrotechnics and has special reference to means for producing pyrotechnical display in an open fire, and, to this end, the accompanying illustration resents one of the embodiments of my invention in a yule log.

The principal object of the invention is to produce novel means whereby the esthetic effect of pyrotechny may be prolonged in an open fire.

In the accompanying drawing I have shown a somewhat enlarged hole having a slightly different operable device therein, the same in this instance representing a miniature Christmas tree mounted upon an expansive helical spring preferably fastened to the bottom of the hole. This hole is covered with say a paper wadding or cork which when burning away will free the spring and permit of forcing the tree upwardly out of the hole where it will remain until consumed, and it is obvious that this tree may be impregnated with a colorful substance of some kind that will readily burn.

Telescopic Amusement Device. Patent number: 2222084 Issue date: Nov 1940

The object of my invention is the provision of a telescopic amusement device possessing what I shall term “magic powers,” as the instrument is adapted to bring into the field of vision of the object glass, focus, and bring close to the eye of the observer, images apparently originating in such remote regions of space, that the distances from the terrestrial observer, must for convenience, be expressed in light years, light centuries, or other astronomical unit. And, in addition to viewing the images at close range, the observer may hold vocal communication with the objects.

Through the eyepiece of the telescope, fanciful characters, mythological creatures, pseudoscientific races, such as Martians, and the like, can be viewed and spoken to at close range in animated form, and stage props forming portions of the scene, may, with technological propriety, comprise any special aspect of the heavens, such as clouds, stars, planets, comets, satellites, or other heavenly bodies.

Snowman Mold. Patent number: 4164341 Issue date: Aug 14, 1979

“In the traditional manner of forming snowmen or other figures of snow, large balls of packed snow are formed by rolling initially small snowballs in the snow until the desired size is reached. For small figures, no problem was generally presented in placing the finished packed balls of snow on top of each other to form the desired figure. However, in forming the larger figures, picking up the finished packed snowball for placement on the lower snowball, presented difficulty, if not hazards, especially for the very young and very old.”

Santa Claus visit kit. Patent number: 7258592 Issue date: Aug 21, 2007

“Known holiday kits for entertaining children have inadequacies. For example, many holiday kits do not facilitate sufficient interaction between parents and their children, or do not contain items that allow the child to participate in an activity that is connected with the holiday in a manner in which the child would believe that their actions brought about a special event. Also, many kits do not address common worries that children experience in conjunction with the holiday, such as the fear that Santa Claus might not leave presents at their house. Furthermore, many holiday kits do not take into account the fact that children can have relatively short attention spans, and in consequence the 55 items in these holiday kits are likely to hold the interest of a child for only a short period of time.”